The Wayfarer.

I ain’t Lion.

I was going to go to MoMa, but Daniel told me to go to PS.1 instead. He said, “It’s way better.” I took his word for it, but not his map, and ended up walking the streets of Long Island City asking strangers where I could find it. It turned out to be the large brick building, next to the subway I walked out of, with ‘PS.1′ written in bold letters three stories high on its side. I, on the other hand, turned out to be the fool with sweat patches and sore feet.

Once inside I hobbled into the multi-room solo exhibition by Jonathan Horowitz titled, And/Or. His work critiqued America, the media and pop culture in the best way possible. If you can imagine me crouching next to a wall, my ear hovering close to a speaker, listening to Jonathon whisper sweet somethings in the voice of Marilyn Monroe, while Britney Spears’ vagina stares at me from the adjacent wall - that’s what it was like.

Tofu on pedestal in gallery was another favourite of mine. It’s just as you imagine: A soggy piece of tofu, in a glass jar filled with water, sitting on a pedestal. It had been kindly shipped over from a Berlin gallery with the help of a host of small business sponsors. People care.

Then I caught the G train, transferred to the F train, and ended up in Park Slope looking for this place - The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. It’s there that they sell things like Secret Identities, Particle Guns, Anti-Gravity, and the supremely annoying Thunder Inducer. For those that don’t know, it’s the New York City chapter of the Dave Eggers’/McSweeney’s empire. Basically, the store is a front to the writing and publishing workshop in the back named 826NYC, run for the benefit of young writers in the greater New York City area. I bought a magazine they published called First Magazine, written exclusively by high school students in New York. It’s really very good.

When you buy something you need to recite the vow of heroism. So while surrounded by young children, all fell silent while I spoke aloud:

“I, Tait Ischia,
also known as Lord Eyeball,
(I know… WTF? Don’t ask.)
promise always to use my superpowers for good.

I promise to use the items I’ve purchased here today safely,
and in the name of justice.
I promise to remain ever vigilant, ever true.”

After this I went to a BBQ in Brooklyn and ate Lion. True story.

06/20/09 -- Brooklyn > Galleries > Long Island City > Magazines > Park Slope -- 4 Comments


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