Are you consistently late to pick-up on the latest internet trends? Do you ever feel like the laggard in that stupid marketing graph? Does it make you question your validity as a connoisseur of the wwworld? A virtual flaneur? A ‘digital native’? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel less of a person. But then I realise I am special. I am worth money in the virtual webula. I am worth something to the world.

Maybe if I had been first to this Virtual Knee Surgery website my life would be different. Maybe I would be “Tait, the knee surgeon”. Maybe I would own a mansion equipped with several trapdoors. Maybe my future children would refer to me as a ‘cool dad’ when they talk to their friends at high school. Maybe this will be me. But I need to dream big. I need to Innovate. I need to subscribe to blogs. I need to RSS the entire webernet. I will learn to adapt to this new internet life.

Let’s do it together.

09/3/09 -- My Mind -- 0 Comments

How long has it been since my last post? Like, three weeks? I apologise for nuthin’. What am I to do? I got a job as a call-boy in the Upper East Side, making ends meet looking pretty for old ladies in summer dresses. Mostly we’d lay in Central Park and I’d recite poems by Pablo Neruda while I fed them strawberries from a punnet. That didn’t actually happen, but if it did, I’d be rich! My looks are undeniable!

Here’s a bunch of stuff that actually happened:

- Enjoyed filtered coffee, homefries and eggs in a diner at 3am, drunk as a skunk, after appearing in a photoshoot for a Vice Magazine beer advertisement insert thing;

- Went to the Guggenheim and ‘lost my shit’ over the works of Frank Lloyd Wright - from within a giant model of his work!;

- Watched Sonic Youth play two encores from the front row of the United Palace Theatre;

- Enjoyed the 4th of July fireworks explode from behind the Manhattan skyline while drinking beer from the rooftop of a Brooklyn apartment;

- Stumbled upon a collection of Man Ray’s photography from a private collection, featuring Gerstrude Stein chilling, Max Ernst covered in seaweed and mugshots of Salvador Dali;

- Had a very late night, got sleepy, and rested under the sun’s warming rays in the middle of a baseball field in Central Park at 9am;

- Had some beers with these guys who wrote a book that I read and enjoyed;

- Had a three-hour conversation with a lovely dude about life and transcendental meditation;

- Waited two minutes while a poet wrote me a poem about transcendental meditation on his typewriter for a dollar;

- Jived many times over at a Morrissey tribute night in Tribeca;

- Smoked a joint with the President of Pitchfork after a gig in the Lower East Side;

- Got shitty service because I didn’t tip;

- Finally got my bagel delivered after 30 mins and hoped they didn’t spit in it;

There’s more I swear but hey, that’s the stuff I remembered.

07/6/09 -- Brooklyn > Central Park > Manhattan Skyline > New York > Upper East Side > Williamsburg -- 5 Comments

The couches in New York are very comfortable. They are both wide and long and can accommodate most girths. If you tuck your face into the crack between the cushions it feels nice and will block out the light.

I’ve walked across the Williamsburg bridge twice this week. It’s pink and ugly but does its job of transporting many walkers and bikers across the Hudson river well. On friday night I carried a six-pack of Brooklyn Brewery beers across it to Sunni’s house in Brooklyn. She cooked lamb balls made from beef and we all drank framboise. Then we went to Lit in the East Village - a dive bar filled with an assortment of characters - because Sunni and Larry were DJing there. At 7am the next morning we climbed on her roof and enjoyed the morning Manhattan skyline. We all agreed that we’ll never get tired of that clump of buildings. Then we passed the joint.

06/15/09 -- Brooklyn > East Village > Manhattan Skyline > Williamsburg -- 0 Comments